Welcome to this beautiful, magical, mysterious, and wondrous world we call Earth. I can only imagine what you must think as you look around at all of the new things and how amazed you must be, even though you have no clue that you're amazed. I thought it would be fitting that I offer you this letter at the least-- it will likely be all you ever have (though you'll likely never see it) from me for a considerable amount of time. One day I'll maybe have the opportunity to explain why this was all you got.
Well this is me. I'm John and I'm your "half-brother" though it won't really mean anything until you and I are considerably older. I'm still trying to grasp the thought that when you are my age I'll be 40. That's absolutely bizarre. One day I hope you agree.
I'm an Auburn student and I study microbiology. I followed my heart and ran away from our "father" and am far removed from Boaz for the most part. In theory, I suppose you're removed from Boaz as well. Which, even though I've got some sour tastes on my tongue from Boaz, I would still say Boaz was the best place for me to grow up. So I apologize that you won't get that opportunity. But you get to write your own story-- what a wild thought-- since we aren't necessarily tied together or anything.
I decided to write this to you, in theory, as a way of telling you the other side of all the things about this new thing you'll eventually call life. I write this partially because I'm afraid you won't get the benefit of being raised on the same principles I was raised on and the things that have helped me turn out okay in the world. So here's a very short list of things I was raised on or that I've learned throughout the years:
1.) Follow the Scout Oath and Law
If there is anything that will without a doubt take you where you need to go you can find it within Scout Oath and Law. It's really simple and easy to remember, but abiding by it is a lot more difficult than it sounds.
2.) Love Everything You Do
Find things you are interested in. Do whatever it is often and become good at it.
3.) Do Everything You Can To The Best Of Your Ability
Realize that it's okay to fail; it's okay to not get it right the first time.
B's are completely and utterly acceptable grades, no matter what anyone says.
Being a perfectionist isn't worth it, and don't allow Him to turn you into one-- it sucks.
4.) Develop A Big Heart
Be a loving, giving, dedicated person to others. I think eventually you'll find that giving your time for the benefit of others is one of the most rewarding things you can do. Don't let anyone stop you from being able to give.
5.) Stick Through The Tough Times
I can't guarantee that you'll see the same challenges, trials, tribulations, road blocks, uncertainties or anything bad that I have seen but I guarantee that there are better things ahead. Stick through all the lows because the highs are much more worth it.
In June 2012 your dad, my source of half of my genome, left me, my mom, and my (I guess "our") brother for your mom. She's roughly three years older than me, which is 100% weird to me. I don't know much about her beyond that she was a former high school student of His, but she's not what I've got. And for that not only do I apologize but I also brag.
See, my mother was there for me when "our" father was too busy grading papers, taking classes, coaching teams, announcing sports, refereeing games, teaching night classes, and anything else that will take time away from "you and him time". But don't have faith in the whole "me and dad are going to play catch and get ice cream and have guy time" stereotype. He doesn't buy in to that; at least he didn't with me. Also, never beat him in a video game or he'll just get huffy and puffy and never play again.
Now the great thing about my mom is that she would teach me, play games with me, watch television with me, go on adventures with me, and so much more. And I'm sure you and your mom will do some cool stuff. But your mom isn't nearly as cool or as amazing as my mom is; sorry you got the short end of the stick. And your step-brother will never be nearly as cool, talented, funny, and awesome as my brother is; again, tough. Maybe something will change by the time you're older and He will realize the mistakes he made with me and Jesse. The saying goes "third time's a charm" but don't necessarily get your hopes up. And don't blame yourself when He lets you down. It's much more difficult that way.
The unfortunate fact of the matter for you is that you'll never have what I have; no object of value nor amount of money could make me choose something material over what I have. We may have a tough time here and there, but we're inseparable. Through thick and thin, you better believe The Real Mayhall Clan will still be together, united against the world's worst and celebrating its best,
together.
Kid, I implore you to make the best out of all this life gives you; maybe one day our paths will cross- who knows. If he ever does to you what he did to me, give me a ring. I'd love to talk.
Your Half Brother,
JM
John, as a person who went through life never having contact with my father despite knowing who he was and him knowing who I was I have to say I love this. I also have a brother and a sister that I have never met and do not even know if they know I exist. I think I actually had it easier than you I never knew my father therefore I never had a father. The lengths he went to ensure that we had no contact even when living in the same small town such of Grant had to be exceptional. I can recall a time when I was very young I guess around 7 or 8 maybe even earlier. We were at the one laundry mat in town and while my Mother was up on the other side if the room washing I was sitting with my Grandmother, who God Bless her heart loved to cause trouble and provoke stuff, pointed to a man who had just entered the laundry mat and told me that he was my Daddy. Now as a kid at that age I was totally intrigued. So I ran to Mom and started asking questions and I got the shhh, be quiet routine. Needless to say Mom held onto me at that point and would not let me leave her side. My sperm donor proceeded to move his clothes to a dryer and quickly leave the building. My Grandmother spoke at him but he would not make eye contact with any of us and he totally ignored my Grandmother. Once we were home I got the talking to and learned he was my Dad. To my knowledge I have never had direct contact with him since that day. My younger sister, who has a different father of course, actually went to school with one of his other kids but was expressly forbidden from mentioning me to them at all. Back not to long after my youngest son Tyler was born an Aunt of mine ran into my sperm donor in the Dollar General in Grant. He was in front of her in line and she proceeded to pull out pictures of the boys and inform him that he was a Grandfather and that he has two handsome grandsons. She said he was very uncomfortable and did not speak. He acted like he was going to bolt out of the store but she said he tried his best to ignore her and get checked out. I have long since got over the disappointment and hurt. He did me a favor, I was raised by a wonderful Mother who like your Mom worked her hardest to give us the best in life. She was a Mother and a Father. I lacked for nothing. My only disappointment now is that I have 2 siblings who I would love to know. They are a part of me, a part of my heritage and just as much victims in what he did as I am. Maybe one day you and this new brother will have some sort of relationship. I wish that for you and him because I know the feeling of not knowing family. I would give anything to meet my brother and sister. I have long given up on my Father. The invitation was sent a long time ago. He knows how to get in touch with me if he was to chose but he never will. But, I wish I knew if my siblings knew about me because I want them to have the same open invitation to approach me. Yet, I can't count on him to deliver that message. But, back to you and this wonderful letter. While I can hear the resentment in your voice this letter is very poignant and eloquently written. Your Mom should be very proud of the man you have become, and I know she is, it is easy to see in her face and hear in her voice. She has done well with you and raised and outstanding young man. Best Wishes.
ReplyDeleteJason